PROJECT SIX PACK AMBI AT NEXT BRAHMŌTSAVA GŌṢṬI

Aim:
To be one and only six pack ambi at the next brahmōtsava gōṣṭi.

Apparatus Required:
Mind and only mind. Nothing else.

Theory:

Walking with bouts of pseudo-jogging (very very very........∞ slow jogging so basically walking) to be converted to full fledged jogging within 6 weeks (and additional exercises) will lead to loss of excess weight and forming of six pack abs. From a guy who could do 60-70 kg squats in his undergrad days and holding his own against very athletic black & white guys playing half-court basketball, I have gone to having paresthesia if I play Temple Run 2 for more than 100 seconds in a stationary position in 10 years. Target is to be the centre of attention as the only six pack ambi in the next vēda/prabandha gōṣṭi at tirukkuruṅguḍi kaisika ēkādasi utsavam at the earliest or the tirunāṅgūr 11 garuḍa sēvai brahmōtsavam on tai amāvāsai at the latest.

P.S: Knowledge of vēdam/prabandham is optional. The older māmās can be easily impressed (read placated) by the impeccable application of dvādasa nāmam (pannaṇḍu tirumaṇ) on the body.

P.P.S: Other ancillary procedures like drinking of green tea with sugar-free sweetener and honey in hot water in the morning will also be attempted & proved to be failures.

Procedure:

1. Start by walking for 5-6 km.

2. Convert the walking:running ratio from 100:0 to 75:25 to 50:50 to 25:75 to 0:100 within 6 weeks.

3. ēkādasi will be off cos it is a day of upavāsam (fast).

4. Slowly add various exercises for abs, chin ups, push ups (I cannot do even 1 push up currently).

5. Become six pack ambi within 3 6 months & yell CHUM JETZE after it happens. 

Result:

KKB became the only six pack ambi at the gōṣṭi (wait for 6 months).

P.S: If you have got here, please go to the top and re-read the post with "Eye of the tiger" playing in your mind voice.